49 minWhy You Keep Self-Sabotaging Your Fat Loss Goals
With Amber Brueseke
Guest on the show
Amber Brueseke
Amber Brueseke is a former registered nurse and personal trainer who founded Biceps After Babies, hosts its podcast and runs the Macros 101 program.
Episodes with Amber Brueseke
49 minWhat Amber talks about
Ep. 47: Why You Keep Self-Sabotaging Your Fat Loss Goals
If you know exactly what to do and still can't make yourself do it, this conversation is for you. Nikkiey Stott sits down with Amber Brueseke, former registered nurse and founder of Biceps After Babies, who noticed early in her coaching that most clients weren't failing because of bad plans. They were failing because their behavior came from beliefs and an identity that didn't match their goals. Amber explains why telling someone to just try harder is lazy coaching, and why the fix starts with what you believe about yourself.
From there they get practical. Amber's approach to macros is to learn tracking before chasing numbers, then layer in calories, then protein, then all three. She shares her 'all or something' rule for restaurants, vacations and dinners at a friend's house: estimate, log it and keep moving rather than quitting because you can't be perfect. She also talks about letting go of the idea of getting your old body back and asking instead how to be the fittest version of yourself today.
The last stretch covers why living in a deficit backfires, how metabolic adaptation keeps women stuck on 1,100 to 1,300 calories, and why most of your life should be spent at maintenance. Amber and Nikkiey also talk about bulking, why 'toned' really means building muscle and losing fat around it, and why the scale is only one data point.
- Use other women's success as proof of what's possible for you, not as a comparison that makes you feel behind.
- Add one healthy change at a time, pulling one lever at a time, such as starting with a daily walk before anything else.
- Start by tracking what you normally eat without changing it, because tracking is a skill you need before you try to hit numbers.
- Baby-step your macros: hit your calorie goal first, then calories plus protein, then carbs, fat and protein together.
- Self-sabotaging behavior comes from your beliefs and identity, so lasting change means working on those instead of only the behavior.
In Amber's words
Questions Amber helps answer
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Macros & Macro Tracking
How do I start tracking macros as a beginner?
Start by learning to track before chasing any numbers. Nikkiey has beginners log what they normally eat in MyFitnessPal for seven days, then focus on protein first and add fats and carbs later. Keep your meals simple and repetitive for the first few weeks so tracking becomes a skill, not a source of overwhelm.
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Macros & Macro Tracking
How do I track macros when eating out?
Order simple dishes you can estimate, like salmon with rice and vegetables, ask for sauce on the side, ballpark the portion, find something similar in your app, log it and move on. Weighing food at home trains your eye, and asking for extra protein keeps you on track. The goal is consistency and awareness, not perfection.
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Diets, Fasting & Diet Culture
Why am I not losing weight on 1,200 calories?
Eating 1,200 calories is often too little, not too much. Dr. Stacy Sims explains it sits around an average resting metabolic rate, so your body treats it as a threat, conserves energy and breaks down lean mass. Long-term dieting also adapts your metabolism down. Before cutting further, check your tracking is accurate.
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Common questions
Why do I keep self-sabotaging even when I know what to do?
Amber explains that behavior always comes from somewhere, and the root is your beliefs about yourself and the process and the identity you hold. Addressing only the behavior, like weekend binging, won't create lasting change, but uncovering and removing those mental blocks makes the right actions feel more natural.
How should a beginner start counting macros?
Amber recommends learning to track before trying to hit any numbers, by logging what you normally eat without changing it. Then hit a calorie goal, then calories plus protein, and only then all three macros together.
How do you track macros at a restaurant or on vacation?
Amber uses an 'all or something' approach instead of all or nothing. Estimate the amounts, find something similar in your tracking app, log it and move on, knowing your eyeballing will improve the longer you track.
Why am I not losing weight eating 1,200 calories?
Amber explains that metabolisms are adaptable, so staying in a deficit for a long time leads your body to slow everything down to match what you feed it. She says eating less and moving more doesn't fix that, and reverse dieting can help your metabolism adapt back up.
Do you have to track macros forever?
No. Amber only tracks when she has a specific goal, which is about 10% of her life, because the understanding of portion sizes and food composition stays with you after you stop logging.
Where should a new mom start with fitness and nutrition?
Amber says not to compare yourself and to add one change at a time, such as a daily walk with the stroller. Next, start simply tracking what you eat without changing it, aiming for the longest-lasting transformation rather than the fastest.