How to Handle Comments That You Look Too Muscular

Nikkiey: I think it would be an inspiration to hear this answer from you. How do you handle it? I'm sure you get it. On social media, there are the trolls, the keyboard ninjas. Man, they come in hot. I'm sure you've gotten comments like "you look like a man." I know I do. So how do you handle that?

Ida: My 20-year-old self would say, this sucks, this is not fair, and that would hold me back. But I'm in my 30s now, and I am more comfortable in my own skin than I've ever been in my whole darn life. I could not care less what an insecure person on the other end says about my physique, because we obviously don't think the same. That's if I'm going to be a little bit aggressive and just get to the point.

Nikkiey: No, I love that. Why do you feel that way? You just don't care?

Ida: Because I am so fed up with feeling the need to fit in. I can no longer relate to that girl I once was, always trying to please others. I still do. I am the biggest people pleaser. I know a few who are even worse. But I've kind of transferred that energy into my business instead of actually caring about what others think.

I feel like one of my jobs in life is to really encourage women to go out there and say, I ain't taking that, because I am here for me. I am not here to please your eyes. And if I can't take on comments like that myself, how can I teach that to others? So for me, when someone says, hey, you look like a man, or gross, or that's too muscly for a female, I'm like, according to you.

But according to me, and to biology, muscle is something we all have. And honestly, if we look at it this way: if they say I'm a man, what do they say about the guys who don't have the muscles that I do? Are they called females because they don't have a developed physique? In my head, it just doesn't add up. So when people comment stuff like that to me, I think, oh, I wish you knew better.

It's more that I feel sad for them. Or even worse, what I have found myself doing when people give that to me is worrying more about what a teenager, a 20-year-old or a woman new to this lifestyle sees when she reads that. Because I know how hard it was for me in the beginning. If she sees that insecure man writing that on my posts, and she reads it and feels it's directed at her, how can she handle that? And that makes me sad and frustrated.

Nikkiey: Yeah, you're so spot on. And the women need to know that the guys commenting that, in addition to all the things you said, are just insecure. They're insecure and wish they could look like you. They wish they could have the discipline and the hard work and the motivation and the effort to do what you've done and transform your body. I've had people click on their page, and, you know, sending love to these guys, I don't want to bash them, but guys, just put in the work. That's what it takes. Instead of shaming somebody, we're here to lift each other up. Don't shame people because of the hard work they put in to change their body.

Ida: Right. Everyone is built so differently. And honestly, if I compare myself to any guy who works out as many hours as I do, as hard as I do, he's going to be twice my size.

Nikkiey: And why is that? Let's elaborate on that.

Ida: Because I'm a woman. I don't have the same freaking hormone setup as a guy does. But that does not mean I can't still look the best that I can, or lift the way that I can. And again, I am not trying to become anyone other than me. So I'm also not annoyed anymore. The only reason I'm annoyed when people write that is because I know people are reading my comments. And I don't want a woman who wants to look like the two of us to see that, because maybe she can't cope with that right now.

Nikkiey: I love it. That's your heart, man. I love it, Ida. You're so sweet. Nobody thinks about that stuff. That's deep. You're concerned about a woman who may be feeling insecure, who aspires to look like you or me, and who sees that comment, and then that could easily deter her from wanting to embark on her journey.

Ida: That's pretty much how I feel.