Outcome vs Identity-Based Habits: 3 Layers of Change

Nikkiey: What's up you guys? Nikkiey Stott here with WarriorBabe, and welcome to our viewer Q&A that we do every single Friday. Happy Friday. If you guys are as excited as I am right now to dive into this Q&A, smash that like button and be sure to subscribe to this channel, because every single Friday we are dropping this Q&A. Maybe next week more questions will pertain to your own fitness journey and will give you confidence and clarity as to what to do next for yourself and your journey.

So with that being said, let's dive into it. I'm stoked to be here with you guys right now. How are we doing with the 80 Day Strong? Everybody crushing it? Yeah, Jessica, I see you over there. Yeah, Mindy, let's go. All right, Stacey. All right, Mary. Let's go, guys. Who's struggling? It's okay to raise your hand. Some people struggle. Wendy, struggling, babe. America, girl, you struggling? What do you need? How can I help you?

All right, you guys, maybe tonight's call will help you. I know it's tough. It's that willpower. It's that discipline. It's when things get a little out of control, or schedules get hectic, or some things take precedence and maybe things are unplanned. Or you just don't feel like working out and then you let that emotion overpower you. It can get tough.

It can get tough. But that's where you grow. That's where she gets uncomfortable. That's where it's like, I don't like the way I'm showing up for myself right now and I've got to change it. I've got to turn it up a notch. I've got to do better. Oh, well, if you're sick, you're sick. Come on, Wendy. You're sick, babe. Allow the time for your body to process being sick. Actually, I heard a lot of you guys were sick. I heard COVID was going around. I know it's going around. We all know that's going around.

It'll be two years in this game now. But I heard from the coaches that a lot of you guys were getting sick from COVID. So as it pertains to sickness, if it's more of the excuse game or the mental game, that's on you to work through that and develop that discipline. But if it's the sickness side of things, there's only so much you can do with that. You've got to let it run its course. You've got to understand it's only temporary. And once you're feeling better, you can get back into the movement. You get back into focusing on what you're here to accomplish.

It is only temporary in the big grand scheme of things, of what you guys want to accomplish and the path that you guys are on. It's a very short window. And it sucks that it's a part of the challenge. But hey, we're going to have another challenge after this. There's another challenge closer to the end of the year. So there are more challenges for you guys to be in on. But if it's more of the mindset thing, you've got to grow, you've got to get uncomfortable, and you've got to learn to maneuver planning and better strategies that support your goals.

Then that's something you've got to work through. Be uncomfortable and challenge yourself to do better. All right. I hope tonight's topic does help you guys. Before I dive into it, let's run through my ground rules. First, just make sure that you're all on mute as I'm going through the topic tonight. I ask that everybody stays on mute because background noise or background distractions can be distracting, not only to myself but to everybody who's trying to listen to the topic that I'm sharing with you guys.

After I'm done talking about the topic, I'll open the floor up for a couple of minutes. We haven't really rolled out Q&A yet, so I'm just reading everything that you guys are typing in the comment box. But if at the end something hit home, or you want to make a statement or comment, or you do have a question, we'll open it up for a Q&A or just for sharing what resonated with you in tonight's topic. At that point, you guys can type in the chat box.

If you do have a question or a statement, I'll keep everybody in order that way when we get to that point. Please don't raise your hand. Just keep it all in the chat box. I can't tell who raised their hand first or what order that's in. So just keep anything you have in the chat box when I open it up. And if anybody's new, raise your hand if you're new in the past week. Oh, Joanne, Rosie, what's up, babe? Anybody else?

I'm going to butcher that name. I don't want to butcher it. Shahazam, I think. Nice. Welcome, babe. Oh, Amy. Oh, AJ. No, Amy. AJ, are you new too? Let's go. Ah, Corey. There are so many of you guys. Beautiful. Welcome, guys. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Excited for you guys to be a part of our community. And you can see on here that we're all in this together.

This is a very like-minded group. And you'll see, even with the topics that I discuss or that the coaches discuss on the roundtable, it is a different level of mindset. We're pushing you to grow. We're pushing you to do things that are challenging, with planning ahead, with macros, with learning macronutrients. We're doing strength training. But ultimately and collectively we're working towards the same goal. All these things we're helping you do, even if they don't make sense, are to get you to that end point.

So what I always say is: trust us now, believe us later. And what I say at the beginning of every one of these calls is to make sure that you're here on time. I kick off this call at seven o'clock Eastern Standard Time. We do a little bit of music at the beginning to get you guys hyped up. Then at seven o'clock Eastern I stop paying attention to the waiting room and just start diving into the topic. So welcome, you guys, and just make sure you're here on time moving forward. I know you guys were here on time, but I just wanted to set that ground rule. All right. So let's dive into tonight's topic.

It's one of my favorites, and I'm bringing it back up because it's resurfaced in a new book that I'm reading. I think I mentioned this book to you guys: The Magic of Thinking Big. I think I mentioned it right before the challenge, and some of you guys said you put it in your cart, and you're nodding your heads. Cool. So maybe you purchased it, or maybe it's on your list to read during the challenge.

If it is, I highly recommend it. It's just so good. This topic, which I've talked about before from Atomic Habits, resurfaced in chapter one of The Magic of Thinking Big. You guys know the drill when I say macros, learning to track macros, strength training, pushing the effort to put your clothes on and go to the gym.

Those are our tactics, right? Those are going to get you to your end result a percentage of the way. But the way you go into planning your macros mentally, the way you go into your workouts mentally, the way you look at the whole journey mentally, is also going to be a percentage, if not a big percentage, of how and when you accomplish what you want to accomplish.

So I'm big on mindset, and that's usually what I talk to here. And this specific thing is a huge driving factor in your everyday, in how you act on the actions you need to take to facilitate macros and to facilitate strength training. So tonight is mainly on the processes of change and how to believe more in yourself that you can do it.

It's on the backbone of belief. Every single one of you, Laura, Joanne, America, Michelle, Cheryl, everybody on this call right now: if you believe that you can do this, you will do this. Your mind will open up opportunities, or open up streams of thought, on how you're going to accomplish it.

That's why I always say forget about the how. Focus on why you're doing this, the positive why, why you want to accomplish it, and the how is going to come with it. If you focus on the why and you focus on the belief within yourself, the how is naturally going to come. And the how is going to come by you saying, okay, I know my coach programmed this for me. This is in alignment with my goal. Remember what I've said on previous topic calls: it's not a benefit to us as coaches if we make you fat.

We're not going to make you fat. I've said that before. We're not going to program you macros that are going to make you fat. We want you to be successful. We want you to accomplish what you want. So you have to believe not only in yourself, but you have to believe in the coach that you're working with too. And when you truly believe that you can do this, you're going to have new thoughts. Like, okay, I can do this. I'm going to program. I'm going to sit down. I'm going to plan in MyFitnessPal. As challenging as it may be at first, which it is, I'm still going to do it because I know that I can do it.

I believe in myself that I can do it. And the reverse is true. If you don't believe that you can do it, then you're not going to do it. And if you have all of these negative associations with tracking macros, or negative associations with having to plan your day out, or negative associations with walking into the gym and saying, oh, I have to do this. I love what Jessica said before: I get to do this. Yes. I get to do it.

And that's just a whole different mindset. You're going to walk into the gym. For me today, this is just an example, and I'm going off on a rant here, but you know what, we're going with it. Today has just been nuts, in a great way. But I was so drained. And I was like, the gym is the last place that I want to go right now. And you've got five seconds. You're like, all right, five seconds, your fucking mind is made up.

You've got five seconds. And if you just stay in that kind of frame, that low vibe, you ain't going. Or you've got five seconds to be like, yo, I'm up. I'm out of my chair. I got my shoes on. Car keys. Post-workout shake. Bag. Let's go. Out the door. I sat my ass in the car, and I'm like, you know, Nikkiey, you can still turn around. I'm like, no. Stop. And I just started driving. And, oh, shit.

Did I just knock my camera off? Am I still here? I'm not here. Damn it. That's what I get for rocking my desk. There I am. I moved all the way to page two again. So then the second that I got to the gym, it was, good job. Guys, it is all in the way that you're talking to yourself. If you're talking to yourself in a positive manner, even though sometimes it's so hard to get into that positive mindset.

It's pretty freaking challenging sometimes. But the more that you do it, just like the more that you strength train, the more that you program macros, the more that you plan in MyFitnessPal, trust me, the mindset game gets easier and easier and easier. But you've got to keep going with the positive. Because if I had stayed here, if I had just said, oh, whatever, I'm just not going to work out, I'm immediately setting a lower standard for myself.

I am immediately starting to operate from a lower standard. And that shit just does not fly with me. And it shouldn't fly for you either if you want to accomplish the goals that you want to accomplish. Right? So the second that I got to the gym, I was like, good job, Nikkiey. You're here. You're doing it. I had a killer workout. A great workout. An amazing workout. And that came from, again, where was I going with that?

It came from the belief in myself, and from following through with the things that I had to do, because I knew that I could do it. I knew that I had to do it. I knew that I had to do it for myself. Anyway, I just went off on a little rant there. But pulling it back into what I really want to say: it all stems from belief. And another thing, maybe I'm just going to make it a rant. Screw the topic. I'm just going to really go down this whole rant.

Another thing that comes with belief, you guys, especially speaking to all of you here, is that there comes a point in your journey where some of you think, and Cheryl's a great testament to this, and a lot of the babes I still coach are a great testament to this, but a lot of you guys think, I'm too old. That's such a common thing. I'm too old. It's too late for me to get the results that I want. I missed my prime at 20. I see you, Laura. I see you.

I missed my prime at 30. And that right there is a belief thing again. So if you don't think you can do it at 50 or 60, first of all, let me pull back and remind you guys of the window of productive years. For us, it's 15 to, shit, what's that woman's name who's 80-something? Okay. So first of all, if we pull that window up, 15 to 80, that's pretty significant.

So let's say you're 40. You still have 40 years of your productive life to be able to work towards your goals. You have the whole time you've been alive, all over again. So you're never too old, ever. If you're 50, you have 30 more years to focus on your goals. If you're 60, you have 20 more prime years.

"58, I'm not done yet." Damn straight. "Best season of my life. Late 50s." Let's go. I see you over there, Patricia. You've got the years left. "I'm about to be 50." Yeah, yeah. But Laura, you're crushing it. But seriously. If you have that belief, well, I'm 50, I can't do it. I'm 60. I've missed all my productive years. I missed my prime. Yeah, maybe you missed the faster stamina.

But it doesn't mean that the vision you have for yourself and the goals that you want to accomplish disappear because you're getting older. The techniques and the tactics and the strategies may change. See? "65 soon. Ugh." Change that. Get that fucking ugh out of there, girl. You've got 15 more years of your prime life left. 15 years. "Just turned 60 and in the best shape of my life." Yes. Good. See, guys? Again, that's a belief system.

Ain't nobody in here too old to be able to crush their goals. And Cheryl, what, 59? 59 and crushing it. Laura, how old are you, if you don't mind me asking? 67. 67. Let's go. Everybody give her a big round of applause. Let's go.

Crush it. So you guys have all the productive years left to still get the results that you want. Techniques change as you get older. Don't worry about that. We've got you. Okay. Should I pull back into my topic? Should I just keep going? I'll pull back in anyway, around belief. There are three layers that you've got to be able to change. The first layer is your outcomes. The second layer is your process. And the third is your identity.

And behind every system of actions is a system of beliefs. So let's talk about that first layer. The first layer is concerned with changing your results. It's a very superficial layer. It's like, I'm going to lose weight. I want to win this challenge. I want to be able to change my body composition. The list goes on. That layer is where most of your goals are set, and they're associated with that level of change, which is the outcome.

Then you've got the second layer, which is your process. I see we're wishing Teresa a happy birthday. Teresa, happy birthday. So the second layer is changing your process. That level is concerned with your habits. It's concerned with the routine you're setting for yourself with your schedule at the gym. It's the routine that you're setting with reading. It's the habit that you're setting with planning your macros in advance.

All of your habits, you build at this level. And then the third layer, and this is the deepest layer, you guys, is changing your identity. This layer is concerned with changing your beliefs. With changing your self-image. With your judgments about yourself and about others around you. It's about your confidence. Most of the beliefs, assumptions and biases that you have are held at this level.

Okay? So outcomes are what you get. Processes are what you do. And identity is about what you believe. And so many people begin the process of changing their habits by focusing on what they want to achieve. And that leads to outcome-based habits.

However, you've got to build identity-based habits. Because if you're operating from outcome-based, where you're only thinking about the surface level, losing weight, winning a challenge, changing your body composition, and you're not focused on your self-image, your beliefs around getting all of that, your beliefs about your confidence, your beliefs about yourself, you're focused on the wrong shit.

Don't get me wrong. I'll tell you about this in a second with my journey as well. Outcome-based is great. But it's not going to make you feel fulfilled in your accomplishments. When you focus on identity-based habits, you focus on who you want to become. You focus on the vision of who that person is going to be when you accomplish the goals you're striving for.

And most of us don't even consider this. This is some deep-level shit. That's why we have these conversations in the VIP, because I know you guys can handle it. I know you guys are ready for some change. I know you want to change. Most people don't even consider identity change when they go after a goal or set out to improve. They want to accomplish changing their body composition. Again, they all think about outcome stuff. They think, I want to be toned, right? I want to be muscular.

I want to be defined. I want to be lean. That's the outcome. And if I stick to this diet, if I stick to what my coach tells me, I'm going to be toned: that's the process. If you stick to planning the macros and doing the workouts, you're sticking to the process. You're building those habits. And people set goals and determine the actions that they should take to achieve those goals without considering the beliefs that drive their actions.

Yes, you guys know I'm reading from Atomic Habits. Yes. People set goals and determine the actions they should take to achieve those goals without considering the beliefs they have around this. I just got done with a live Q&A on Facebook before I hopped on here with you guys. And this woman was like, you said carbs were good. I thought they were bad.

Oh my God, man. It's not her fault. It's the whole culture. It's the whole internet. It's the whole fitness industry that has deemed carbs to be terrible. It's not her fault at all. But she thinks that. And if she thinks that, it's going to drive her actions. But if she changes the belief around carbs, her actions will be different. This is why people never shift the way that they look at themselves, and they don't realize that their old identity can sabotage their new plans for change.

Thought processes lead to actions, because behind every action is a system of beliefs. So if you think carbs are bad, guess what? Your action is that you're not going to eat carbs. And then the result is that it's not sustainable. It's not realistic. You're moody. You're irritable. You're not getting the results that you want. So people need to get rid of that old identity, because it can sabotage the new plans for the change that they really want.

Right? So you may want a toned, stronger body. But if you continue to hold on to all of these negative-based habits or thoughts, especially around carbs, just for example, then you're not going to get the kind of results that you want. At the beginning of my journey, I was the type of person who wanted this. I was an outcome-based person.

But I consistently got what I wanted. I did the processes. And at the end of all of this, my core identity changed. And now I'm the type of person who is this. So many people want things. But the ultimate form of natural motivation is when a habit becomes part of your identity.

That's when the processes become a part of who you are. People say, I'm the type of person who wants this. And there's a difference between that and saying, I'm the type of person who is this. See how those are two different things? I want this. I want to accomplish X, Y and Z. Versus, I'm the type of person who is this. So on my journey, I was the type of person who wanted this.

And I consistently got what I wanted, the outcome. And I did what I had to do, which was the process. And then my core identity changed. And now I'm the type of person who is this. I did it. And even the small group of women that I coached, they did it too. Everyone on this call, even the coaches, you have to work through these three levels of change to be able to call it your core identity, to be able to call it your lifestyle, to be able to call it a part of you. It's not coming from an outcome-based habit anymore.

It's coming from an identity-based habit. True behavior change, you guys, which is what you need to be able to shift gears, is identity change. And at the beginning, it's so hard to form good habits and it's so easy to repeat bad ones. That's why maybe some of you guys are struggling with pre-planning, or getting your workouts done, or whatever you're struggling with on this challenge.

At the beginning you had this burst of motivation. And then it probably feels difficult to keep the good habits going for more than a few days or a few weeks. And that's because you're focusing on trying to change the wrong things. You're trying to change the outcome-based things, when you want to focus on changing your core reasoning, your core thought process, why you're taking those actions.

You want to change the core beliefs that you have so that you're able to take those actions. And it can just be a simple change of verbiage. It can just be a simple change in the way you speak to yourself, saying I get to do this as opposed to I have to do this. And then trusting us now and believing us later, and believing not only in what you signed up for but also in the person who's driving you to facilitate the actions that you need to take, your coaches.

All right. So to wrap this all up: what you do, you guys, is an indication of the type of person that you believe you are. Once you believe in a particular aspect of your identity, if you believe that you truly are healthy, that you truly are fit, that you truly are somebody who is in alignment with that type of lifestyle, and you make it a part of your identity, then you are more likely to act in alignment with that belief. If you believe you can, you will. If you believe you can't, you won't.

And when your behavior and your identity are fully aligned, you're acting like the type of person that you already believe yourself to be. At the beginning of my journey, even though I had no idea what I was doing, I still believed in myself that I could do it. And I sought out every answer and every possibility and every ounce of knowledge and every X, Y and Z to get me in alignment with believing it more and doing the things that I had to do, the actions that I had to take.

And it became fully aligned. I always say, who do you want to become? You've got to think about that person. You've got to think about how that person at the end goal is operating, talking, walking, dressing, acting, and you've got to think from that person now. And that can be super challenging, because you're not there yet.

There may be some kind of block that you feel, but it's just repetition, the power of repetition. The more that you start thinking and acting like that person, the faster you're going to become aligned with it. Thank you, I appreciate that, Jackie. "You have to do the things that person does." Yes, exactly. Because if you just continue to do the same things that you've always done, you're going to get the same results. But if you start acting as the person you're going to be, think from the end.

How I am where I am now is that I pre-plan everything. I make sure I eat my macros in a day and I make sure I get my lifts in when I don't want to. When I was in your shoes, just starting out, I had to think from that perspective. If the person at the end of the road is doing all of these things, then she's not someone who isn't programming and isn't planning. That person's not going to be doing that.

She is doing all of that. So you need to start doing it now. Because the faster that you act like the person you want to become, the faster you're going to start becoming that person. All right. And remember that your progress here, or anywhere in life, requires that you unlearn. If you've been programmed to think that carbs are bad, or that 2,000 calories is going to make you gain weight.

We've been programmed to think some type of way. Remember, you've got to unlearn that, because becoming the best version of yourself requires that you continuously edit your beliefs and that you upgrade and expand your identity. So I'll leave you guys on that note. The whole driving factor is more belief in yourself and more belief in what you signed up for. You've got to believe in that.

You've got to believe in the system. It's already helped thousands of people, right? So if you want the results of those thousands of people, and you're seeing some people on this call who've worked the system and gotten tremendous results. Yes. It's already working. So you just have to work it, and you've got to believe in it. Most importantly, at the end of the day, you've got to believe in yourself. Remember, if you have a negative thought, you've got five seconds to act upon that negative thought, and make sure that you're acting upon it in a positive way that's going to help you become better.

All right. I'll open it up. I don't know how much longer he's going to put up with me not paying attention to him, but I will open it up right now. If you guys have any questions, or you have a statement, or you want to speak to what I just talked about out loud, then write "statement" or "question" in the comment box and I can unmute you. If not, you can just keep typing how you feel in the comments.

"So strive to be the person who works out every day, not just a person who is toned." Yeah, exactly. I just do it. I know you guys can all relate. Yeah, I've reached my goal, but it doesn't mean I'm stopping. I still go work out because I get to work out. I still go work out because it makes me feel good. Just be the person. Yeah, what Nancy said: the person who gets to work out every day.

"I really needed to hear that, changing what I believe about myself." Yes. You guys are all so powerful. You guys are all so amazing. And the more that you believe that about yourself, the more you're going to see it. And if you have negative viewpoints about yourself, in the way you look at yourself and the way that you see yourself, bring them to light. Write them down, journal them, whatever you need to do. But when you write them down, bring the positive with them. Every negative always has a positive. And when you do that more and more and more, you're going to believe in yourself more and more and more.

"Every action is evidence for or against the person you want to be." Yes, that's spot on, Hannah.

Shannon asks: "How about when I go on vacation for two weeks? Have you ever taken a food scale on a plane? If not, it scares me not to weigh my food." Thank you for bringing this question up. Remember, this is a lifestyle. At first, a vacation is going to feel daunting when you're used to doing X, Y and Z with the scale and tracking the way that you are. But a vacation is only temporary, just like a sickness is only temporary.

And this is a lifestyle. So when you come back, you're going to get right back to it. What I always say is enjoy your time, and do your best not to be an asshole. That's what I always say. Don't eat too much. Don't get to the point where you're stuffing your face because you get to, because you're on vacation. Be smart about the food choices you're making. If you have access to a grocery store, put that on your agenda: go to the grocery store and get some food, get some protein, because it's the number one macronutrient that people struggle to hit when they're on vacation.

And know that when you come back, your weight is going to fluctuate. But the second that you get back to your normal routine, you are going to be right back on track with where you want to be. And lean on what you've already implemented. This is a great aspect of tracking macros: if you've paid attention to the portion sizes you're putting on the scale, and you're getting used to seeing what four ounces looks like or what 50 grams looks like, it's going to make you feel more confident when you're looking at a plate of food when you're out to eat.

So don't be scared. It's only temporary. Put confidence in yourself and in everything you've learned so far to make good decisions on your vacation.

Annie says: "I used to be a person who identified with 'I have no routines. I can't stick to a routine.' Not anymore." Damn straight. I love that. Because if you believe that you have no routines and you believe that you can't stick to a routine, guess what?

You're not going to stick to a routine. You're not going to make any routines for yourself. It's the same thing if you're constantly saying, I'm busy, I'm busy, I'm busy. Your mind is going to find more reasons for you to be busy, and it's probably not even productive work. You're just searching for a reason to be busy when you're probably not really that busy and you just need to manage your time a little bit better. And if you turn it into managing your time well, then there you go. You have a new belief around managing your time. So think about the things that are going to support you and your results.

Think from the end: what do you need to do to get there? Do you need a new routine? Do you have to make a routine? Make the routine. And believe that you can stick to it. So if a belief is negative, do whatever is the opposite of it. Okay? All right, you guys. I appreciate all of you being here and tuning in to this call and this topic tonight. I thoroughly enjoy coming here, speaking to you all, seeing your faces and seeing your responses.

It's a little bit more intimate on the VIP call. I can see everybody. And you're all reminded that we're all in this together. We're all collectively working on this goal together. So let's keep doing it. Let's go crush the rest of the week. Let's go crush the rest of the month. Let's go crush the rest of this challenge. And if you're struggling right now, tomorrow you have the choice to make it different. So make it different tomorrow.

If you want to learn more nutritional information for your own individual needs, or get some workout guidance for your own body type and understand what's going to help you get the results you want, head over to warriorbabe.com. There are tons of free resources in the categories of mindset, macros and workouts that can help you on your current fitness journey and help you get results that last forever. All right, you guys. I'll see you in next week's video.