How to Find the Triggers Behind Your Diet Setbacks

Nikkiey: What's up, babe? Nikkiey here. Inside of this module, we're going to get rid of and detoxify all of your self-sabotaging actions. Up to this point, you've figured out your goal. You've figured out your why. You've made the committed decision. You are in this for the long term, right?

But along your journey, you're going to come up to hiccups. I told you you're going to fail. But the most important thing is that you learn from those failures. You learn from them and you move forward. And what can happen inside those failures is that you still have some of these actions that you may not be consciously aware of. So inside this module, I am going to help you bring light to these actions and detoxify all of them. That way, moving forward, you have a clear, fun journey and you understand these kinds of hiccups when you hit them. You're kind to yourself and you move on, okay?

First, we're going to talk about taking responsibility for where you are right now and ridding yourself of the victim mentality. Getting rid of that mentality is so important moving forward because, like I've said in previous modules, if you think you can't, then you can't. You're absolutely right. If you keep telling yourself you can't, you're not going to proceed forward. You're not going to get the results that you want. So we're going to get rid of that kind of mentality and you're going to take ownership of where you are right now.

Then I'm going to dive in and talk about yo-yo patterns that stall your results. You may not even notice that they're happening, but they do. So I'm going to bring them to conscious awareness for you so that moving forward, you know how to handle them. On top of that, what can cause those yo-yo patterns to happen is some habitual triggers that you may not, again, be aware of. So I'm going to help you bring those to light. You're going to figure them out. If you ever come to a situation where you're triggered by something, you're going to know it's a trigger. You're going to know how to handle it. You're going to know how to be in control. So that's where we're going to identify the root problem, get to the root of it, and help you be in control moving forward along the journey.

Guys, this module is freaking powerful. It's going to bring to the surface a lot of the demons that you may not know are causing you to have some hiccups or some failures, or triggers you're not even aware of. So it's really important to tune in and listen up.

Let's first dive into taking responsibility for where you are right now and ridding yourself of the victim mentality. Take ownership of your life where you are right now in all areas of your life: financially, physically, emotionally. This is all your responsibility. Up until this point, where you are right now is your responsibility. Take ownership of it. You are the creator. You are in control of your life. The reason why your body is the way it is is because you got it to that point. It's not your job. It's not anything like that. I'm going to talk about that in a second. You need to fully grasp this concept. It can be really hard to fully grasp this concept, to come to terms with yourself. But when you come to terms with yourself and you accept this, it's so empowering to move forward and know that you are fully in control. You are the controller of your life.

But it can be hard to grasp and to fully accept because usually we want to blame something or someone else for where we are right now, right? You want to blame your job. You want to blame time. You want to blame traffic. You missed work. You want to blame that you didn't get enough sleep. Whatever. You want to blame something or someone else. You want to blame your husband or your friends. Blah, blah, blah. It ain't that shit. Let me tell you that. Take ownership of where you are. When you blame something outside of yourself, you lose all control. When you blame something outside of yourself, when you give bullshit excuses, you lose all control. You are not in control of your life. Okay? You're blaming other things, and it's not other things. Your results are in your hands. Take ownership of where you are right now.

Everything inside this program is based on real-life results and has changed thousands of women's lives. This program is made for you, providing you all of the tools so that you can succeed: mind, body, macros, workouts, all that stuff. Therefore, you are responsible for using these tools to generate your results. So if you come to points inside this program and you decide not to do the work, you will not get results. Do not blame the program. Don't say this program is too hard. Don't say this program is not working. Guys, it's hard because I'm challenging you. Anything that is not comfortable is going to be challenging and hard to do. Know this program works, and know that if you come to this point and you decide not to do the work, you didn't have the courage to push yourself through it. You didn't commit yourself enough. So you want to take a step back and go back to your why and your goals and figure out exactly why you're here. Because this works, but you have to be the one who takes ownership and does the work.

Take responsibility and own it. The way that you can own it is by getting rid of this victim mentality. Getting rid of these excuses. Getting rid of blaming outside forces. Saying, I'm not getting results because of X. The reason why things are the way they are is because of X. And X is everything else that is not you. It can be time. It can be social events. It can be anything. But the important thing to understand here is that X isn't creating anything. X is not sabotaging your results. It's you. Okay? You are in control. All of these external situations, family, friends, social events, going to the beach, being at work, you are in control of them. Make them work for you and the goals that you are achieving.

And understand too that you don't know everything. Because if you knew everything, you wouldn't have invested in this program, and you would already understand how to get the results and keep them. And keeping them is key, right? If you knew everything, you'd be able to achieve your results and see them through. But a lot of people don't see them through because they go back into old habits. Or they think they know everything, and they think that keto or something else is really good, so they try to mix that in with this program. And let me tell you, it's not going to work. So just keep an open mind. You don't know everything, because if you did, you wouldn't be here right now. If you get to a module on how to work out properly and just think, oh, I already know how to work out, that is a perfect example of blocking an opportunity to learn. Keep an open mind moving forward.

Because let me tell you, the victims, the blamers, the people who think they know it all, the excuse makers, those people do not succeed. They do not get results. Do not get caught up in this mentality. A quote I love, at the bottom there, is: excuses are lies we tell ourselves so that it doesn't have to be our fault. You are in control. So take responsibility for where you are and everything moving forward. Stop blaming outside things, and understand that you are fully in control of everything that you want to achieve for yourself. All right?

So let's talk about these yo-yo patterns that stall your results. Guys, I hope this brings so much light to you, because I have been working with women for years now, and these are major things that just get in their way and they end up moving backwards.

Let me start off with this: this is you, right? You're here. You're starting this program. You're super excited. You're like, yeah, I want to be different. I want my body to be different. I've got these goals. I've got these whys. I'm all for it. Let's go. Right? And you take five steps forward. You're doing the workouts. You're doing the macros. You're all in. You're like, mindset, let's go, let's do this. And then you start seeing results. And then you've got some friends coming over. You've got social events this weekend. You're going to the beach. You've got a holiday coming up. Or you've seen progress. And with these external factors around you, or because you've seen progress, you're like, oh, I'm good, I can take a little break. You take a break. And three days of taking a break can actually move you five to ten steps backwards. Okay? So that's where you end up if you allow this to get in your way. You're like, in two weeks I've got a social event, so I've got two weeks to put in the work. You move, you move, you move. You allow the event for three days. And then it's like, oh God, it's so hard for me to get back into the groove. And you move five to ten steps backwards in the other direction, right? How many of you have done that? I hope I'm getting a lot of nodding heads.

This is what's happening in this situation when either A, you're like, oh, I've got an event, or B, I've seen really good progress so far, so I can just ease off a little bit. This is your subconscious idea of doing good, and your mind is satisfied. So your mind shifts and stops doing what got you there in the first place and begins doing things like rewarding itself, right? You're like, oh my God, I'm seeing results. I've got an event this weekend. I've been really good these past couple of weeks. I saw awesome progress. I dropped body fat, or dropped weight. So I'm going to reward myself. And one reward turns into two, two turns into three, three turns into two weeks. You're moving ten steps backwards.

This is the false concept of success. The false idea that you have reached a particular point starts driving you in the other direction and literally halts all your progress, taking you five or ten steps backwards to your starting point, or guys, even worse. You can go back to your starting point and be like, oh, fuck, I've got to start all over again. Or you can go back even further and have that reward go longer, where you gain ten more pounds on top of it. You don't want to move in that direction, right?

So what's really important is that you figure out where, what, when and why you get tripped up, and when your subconscious tells you it's okay to stop pushing forward. What does that? Figure out what that is. Becoming consciously aware of those actions is really, really important because, guys, this is what I talked about before. It may cause a hiccup. You may fail. You may not be able to stay on track. But what you learn from that experience, like, okay, how can I do this better next time, is what's going to get you driving in the other direction.

All right. So you're starting now, five steps forward, and then you have all these social events. What you've got to do is block out these social events. I don't mean ignore them and not go. Go, have fun, but understand that your progress is still waiting for you afterwards. Understand that this is just a day that's going to go by. How can you still stay on track? What can you do that's going to keep you in alignment with the goals that you want to accomplish? When you do that and you set yourself up for success at these social events or going out with friends, and you understand that you have so much more progress to make, that's going to keep you going towards your goals. It's going to keep you moving in the right direction. Don't let this shit get in your way, because if you do, it's going to take you longer and longer and longer to get to the goals that you want.

That's why it's so important that you figured out your goals, you figured out your why, and you listened to Unleashing Your Strength and understood how to make those committed decisions for yourself. Because when you do that and you have these hiccups, you can go back to them, reread them or listen to the manifesto, and move forward. We don't want to move backwards, guys. We all want to move forward and make our lives better, right? We want to get to that body that we all want. So if you're here and you allow this shit to get in the way, you're going to start moving in the wrong direction. Moving in that direction causes more pain, and we don't want pain. We're always striving to move away from pain.

The way you do that is you set high standards for yourself with the goals, with the why, with the committed decision that you want, and you can always be better. So even if your progress is good here, be better. Set new high standards for yourself. Write out your values. Get super clear on everything so that you can always refer back to it, because the person you want to become is not going to let these little things get in her way. The person you want to become is going to tackle them head on and keep making progress moving forward. So set high standards for yourself. You can always be better. If you hit a goal here, what can you do to be better? What's the next step? How can you turn it up a notch? How can you always be striving to be the next best version of yourself? Okay.

Now let's talk about how there may be some triggers you're not aware of, and they could be halting you from what you truly want to get to. So let's talk about finding your habitual triggers and figuring out exactly what they are. Let's bring those triggers to light, which can be so extremely hard to do. If it was easy, everybody would be doing it, right? Everybody would be succeeding far beyond. But there's only that small percentage of women who understand this and move past it. So I promise you, this is how you can begin to create positive change in your life: by understanding these habitual triggers that are halting the progress you want to see.

Triggers can swing both ways. It could be avoidance of pain, sadness, frustration, pressure. Pressure from your environment leads you to emotionally eat, right? When you are stressed, and stress is a big thing, work, home, kids, whatever, you find yourself snacking. You probably don't even know how you ended up in the kitchen, but you're there and you're eating and you're savage. The damage is already being done, right? But the reverse is also true, with accomplishments and happiness and celebrations and birthdays and holidays. You're around these social situations with food, and you're just in that situation and you eat. I've worked with so many people who find themselves in this situation and they're just snacking, and the damage is already being done. So it can go both ways.

What happens is that these emotions create feelings. Let's say, for example, you're at a social event and you're a total introvert. You just like being in your own bubble, and you don't want to socialize or talk to other people. Or you're stressed, with the kids running around the house and you're cramming your work, whatever. Those emotions create feelings, and feelings create actions. Emotions create feelings, and feelings create actions. And those actions are usually eating. And 95% of our actions are unconscious, so we don't even know we're doing it. So you attach yourself to the feelings you're getting, like the emotion of being stressed, and that's when you emotionally eat. Or in your social situation, you're nervous or anxious, you attach yourself to those feelings, and then you create the action of eating. These emotions arise within the mind, create feelings within your physical body, and cause you to create the action of eating.

What's really awesome here is that when you have these moments, you can use tools. I'm going to teach you in the next module exactly what tools you should get at the beginning of your journey, but one of them is a journal. When these emotions come up or these situations happen, you write down what happened. Then you can always refer back to it and be like, okay, this triggered me last time. How can I make it better? How can I be better? How can I handle this situation better next time? What do I need to do? Right?

But also, below this video is the identifying your triggers worksheet, and you can download that. Inside that worksheet, I walk you through some questions on how to identify the triggers that you have. What are the places you go that cause you to lose sight of what you want and of following your goals? Who are the people who, when you are around them, seem to drive you off course? What are they doing that makes this happen? What things cause you to deviate from your diet or go on a binge? What things cause you to deviate from your workout plan and throw in the towel? What's the internal dialogue that is not real, but that you listen to, that prevents you from staying on course? What's happening? Get in depth in these moments. After it happens, which it is going to, complete this document. Fill it out while it's fresh in your mind: this is what happened when I was experiencing this specific trigger.

When you take this mental inventory, take the time to reflect on what is really going on in your life and how it relates to your body and the way it looks. Because when you notice this stuff, you have complete control, and you have the choice to change everything above. For all the negatives, you eliminate and adjust. For all the positives, you just add more positive onto them. You are in complete control of the way your body looks, and you will be for the rest of your life, especially once you understand exactly how to identify your triggers. So this worksheet is below in the downloadable section, and I highly recommend you complete it and get super clear on each one of these questions.

Okay, let's go through how to identify the root problem of why these triggers come up. Because there is always a deeper-seated reason or belief from a previous experience or from the past that is controlling these actions and these feelings. So let's identify the root problem and help you understand how to be fully in control.

Your reality right now, in this present moment, could bring you back down to problems of your past: what you internally feel, you externally create. For example, one of my babes I've been working with for three years had a major eating disorder at 19 years old and was in rehab for it. Now, in her later years, 28 or 29 years old, her reality at any present moment could bring her back down to problems of her past. This has literally happened. We've had conversations about this. What you internally feel, you can externally create. So even at 29 years old, she had an experience with her family members where they were worried about what she looked like, even though she's eating 2,800 calories and she's shredded and lean. That brought her back to being 19 and having those restrictions and those eating habits and so on, which made her externally create problems in her world right now at 29.

So, for example, key words could trigger you. You could get called a name from your past that made you feel sad or angry. For her, it was that she was too skinny, that she was not eating enough. Those are words that triggered her. Or key memories that make you think back to an extremely painful experience, maybe with an ex-husband or a spouse or boyfriend or partner, or your parents calling you fat or making you eat healthy due to your weight as a child. Any of those key words or key memories, even though you're older, 40, 50, and all of this stuff is in the past, you can still feel it right now and create those feelings where you are right now, just through key words, just through memories.

That's why it's so important for your surrounding environment to be friends and family who make you feel good. Do your friends and family support you, or do they resurface these problematic feelings? Because if your friends and family are making you uneasy with these feelings, you will turn to food as a coping mechanism, depending on what these memories or key words are doing to you. That will be your trigger. Or you will move toward not eating, if you've had bad experiences with food in the past.

So identify the root problem. Is it actually happening right now, or is it a past experience? Because if it is, those experiences are done and over with. They have nothing to do with your present experience right now. Understanding and listening to what you're feeling and why you're feeling it, and identifying that problem, can really help you bring even more of these triggers to light. Is it a friend who makes you feel this way? Because if it is, God, let them go. They are not going to serve you in the future, and don't worry about letting them go, because you're going to have people who do surround you moving forward. Life goes on. Think about it: how many of you are still friends with people from grade school, right? You have different friends as you grow up.

Now, if it's family doing this to you, you've got to have a sit-down and say, these key words, I'm not the me of ten years ago. Like for my client who was 19 years old: Mom, Dad, I'm fine. I'm eating 2,800 calories. I don't have any of the habits that I had when I was 19 years old, not eating any food and being frail and skinny and being hospitalized for it. Sometimes you just have to have a sit-down with people you actually care about and say, I'm fine. Right?

So it's really important to identify that root problem, and that's how you can be in control. Don't fall victim to your past. Once you have the root problem identified, you can understand consciously that these stories or beliefs are from your past. Forgive yourself. That's not you anymore, and accept that this is a learning experience. If you get into a moment where you cave in, or you catch yourself going into bad restrictive habits again, take it as a learning experience. Figure out why it's happening, forgive yourself, accept it and move on. Know that you're always constantly learning and evolving.

And then, like I said, get rid of that negative energy. What others think of you is a reflection of what they think of themselves. For example, with my stepmom, when I first started this, she was like, why do you want to look like this? I talked about this in previous modules. But what she thinks is a reflection of what she thinks of herself. I hold dear what I want my body to look like. Maybe it doesn't resonate with her. Maybe it's not for her, and that's fine. But don't let that feed into you. Don't let that feed into your decisions and opinions about yourself, because what others think of you is a reflection of what they think of themselves. Any specific comment made to upset you is because that is how that individual is really feeling.

So do whatever you need to do to get rid of this energy. And if it's someone that you love, help them understand how to make the situation better. In a loving manner, ask: why is this happening? Are you good? Why are you having this feeling? I know I'm good, so why are you projecting this negativity onto me? Okay?

It's not easy to have these kinds of conversations with your family members or friends. So what I like to do is focus on some major deep breaths. When I focus on my breathing, I'm in my own bubble, right? Your own positive bubble. You take a deep breath and you're like, okay, how can I handle this situation right now to still support me, but help this person understand exactly what I'm going for? Always stay in the positive bubble of yourself, but always be willing to help other people identify their problems. And just get rid of your past. Get rid of this negativity.

You have to align with your power in this journey. As you know from going through the previous modules, aligning with your decisions, your wants and your goals is your power. It's your strength inside of you, and you are able to bring back your own power, joy and excitement when you are consciously aware of what does and does not serve you. You have to be willing to say no, or have a sit-down, have uncomfortable talks with people and say, what's up? Or, Mom and Dad, that's not me. That was me ten years ago. I'm eating 3,000 calories. I don't have restrictive habits anymore. You just have to make sure you are always in alignment with your power and what you want. Whatever around you is negative, you need to either let go of or figure out a way to make better. Okay? Because you're consciously aware now of what does and does not serve you, especially after going through all the previous modules I've shared with you.

So your only action item for today's module is the identifying your triggers worksheet. It may not serve you to do it right now, but if and when a trigger does come up along your journey, and if and when you do fail, which you will, that is a great time to fill out the worksheet, because it's fresh, it's new, and you're going to be able to identify exactly what trips you up, get clear on it and write it down. So just print it out for now, and if anything does happen moving forward, fill that sucker out. Becoming consciously aware of why you react to things helps you make better decisions that align with your goals and why you're here as a WarriorBabe.

So I'll leave you on that note. Make sure you tune into the next module, because in that module I'm going to share some very important tools to get yourself set up for a successful journey moving forward: exactly what you need to have, where to start and all that kind of jazz. Make sure you dive into the next module, and I'll see you there. Thank you.