How to Detach From Fitness Goals Without Giving Them Up

Nikkiey: What's up, WarriorBabes? Hey, everyone. Nikkiey here, and welcome to our Saturday WarriorBabe Revolution rally call. Guys, I'm super excited to be here with you today and get you fired up with some motivation as we move into a new week. We'll get started in just a few minutes. Go inside the Facebook group and let the other WarriorBabes know that this call is getting started. They don't want to miss today's call. They want to make sure that they get on in real time. I know there are some people listening to replays, and replays are great, but sometimes being in the moment together, all of us, and hearing me can really make everybody feel a certain type of way. So go in the Facebook group, let them know that this call is getting started, and that they want to chime in.

If you are new to WarriorBabe, welcome to all the new WarriorBabes. I'm so excited that you guys are here, and excited to be a part of your journey and see your transformation. We do these calls every single Saturday at 11 a.m. Eastern Standard Time, so make sure you mark your calendars and set your alarms. I do have an announcement, and I'll share that at the end of this call, about switching up this timing next week and for the next three to four weeks. We'll also make sure that it's live inside the Facebook group so that everybody knows this call time will be changing.

But anyway, to all the new WarriorBabes, I'm excited that you're tuning in. I'll probably say this again later on, but immerse yourself as much as you possibly can and focus on one thing, instead of focusing on whatever you've done in the past, instead of focusing on keto or what everybody else is saying out there. All you need to do is focus on one specific thing, give it all of your energy, follow through with the commitment, and you will get results. Don't sidetrack. Don't have shiny object syndrome. Don't see another six-week or seven-week challenge online and dive into it. Focus on this. If you are here, put your commitment into WarriorBabe, and that is it. I've seen people in this program for years, and one of them dove into keto and now is back because she realized keto wasn't the right thing to do. So guys, put your focus on one thing, and that's all you need to do.

Really quick before I start, I want to run through some updates. If you're a new WarriorBabe, this is really, really important. When people dive into something new, they can get easily overwhelmed. What I try to do at the beginning, when people come into this program, is eliminate that overwhelm and help you just focus on one thing per day. Yes, it's for the first 14 days, but let me tell you, this isn't another 30-day challenge or another six-week whatever, six-day six-pack abs or whatever it is. This isn't a carnivore diet. This isn't a fad diet that's going to crash your metabolism and then leave you wondering what you should be doing next. So suck it up for the first 14 days and go through the blast-off emails, or the units section inside the Facebook group. If you go through the first 14 days, you are setting yourself up for long-term success.

I shared the results of one of the babes who took the first month just to get her head wrapped around something new, and she has excelled with what her body looks like. She hasn't even dove into workouts yet. I shared this with you guys on Wednesday's Q&A. So take it day by day. Look, I get it. People want to jump in. People want results yesterday. Well, you know what? It's not going to happen. You've got to commit to this and put your effort into it, and then the results will come. If you are somebody who wants results yesterday, or in six days, or in nine days, that's just not going to happen. That's when you're going to get overwhelmed and frustrated and pissed off, and you're going to quit.

The reason I built the blast-off emails is to eliminate that, so that you come in here strong-headed, you start off on a strong foot, and you set yourself up for long-term success by implementing this new lifestyle into your own world. Think about it, you guys. I shared this on the Q&A as well. We've all made lifestyle changes. Every single one of you has made lifestyle changes. You've gone to school. You've gone to college. You've gotten married. You've had kiddos. Or you're in the later stages where you have grandkids. Every single one of those lifestyle changes has amounted to routines and new habits. That is exactly what I am implementing with you here inside of WarriorBabe, but it's more focused on the health side of things. You are setting health routines, health habits. Think about that. It's going to blow your mind. How many of you have actually implemented health routines the way you've implemented things in your marriage, or with your kids, or when you were going through school? How many of you have built health habits? That's what I'm trying to do here with you in WarriorBabe.

So if you are somebody who wants results in nine days or six days or yesterday, then honestly, maybe this program isn't for you. You need to go find the six-week program or the 30-day program or something that's going to get you results quick, and then you're going to be left to figure out what to do next. It may take you a month for your metabolism to get back up to speed because of what you've done to it. Or it may take a month and a half. That's why the first 14 days are just 14 days to get you set up on the right track.

I just wanted to put an emphasis on that, because I've seen a lot of people inside the community who are three weeks in and getting frustrated, or nine days in and wondering what to do about their tummy. Guys, this is a lifestyle. Just implement the things I'm sharing with you inside this application and inside these Q&A calls and these rally calls. The majority of it is mindset. That's why the majority of our rally calls are focused around mindset. It's getting you to see the changes that need to be made in your lifestyle. It's getting you to see the changes that need to happen outside of your comfort zone. It all starts within your mind, and if the mind can believe it, the body will achieve it. Just like that quote. It's so true. But you have to actually believe in yourself, and you have to actually believe in what you're implementing for yourself in order for the results to come.

That could have easily been the rally call, because I thought that was fire. But I really just want to put the focus there and have you know that this is a lifestyle. The things I'm sharing with you are the things that I have had to implement for myself over the past four years. Think about it. Instead of somebody who takes 10 or 20 years to get a goal done and looks back and says, damn, it's taken me 10 or 15 years to get here, I've done this in four to five years, and now you guys are taking my tips. You're going to get it done faster. I want all of you to exceed far beyond what I've already done. That's my goal with you guys. But you've got to listen to me, and you've got to ditch the old thought processes that you attach yourself to from past things you tried. Then you get in your own way when you say, well, that worked. Did it really work? Or did it work for six weeks, and then you wound up back at square one, putting weight back on? That's what I'm trying to get across.

I really could turn just this into the rally call, but I'm not going to, because I feel like the topic I do have today is going to focus on what I'm already talking about, actually. I guess I'm just pre-gaming for the real topic, so it's going to be lit. So, guys, if you haven't yet, make sure you're getting in the Facebook group and letting all the other babes know that this call is on, because we're about to dive into the topic.

One update: the WarriorBabe workouts are updated in the app. Good luck, you guys. I had fun making those workouts, and they are fire this round, even more fire than they've been. Another update: we are working really hard on getting this whole white screen issue figured out. This is probably one of the hardest things I've had to face, and it's taking up a lot of my mental energy trying to get it handled. I'm somebody who, if something happens, I want to fix it right away, and I usually can. But when it's something that's out of my control, I have to let the team and the support people do their thing to figure out what's going on. So please believe me and trust me that we are working on this, and it will be settled. I know a lot of you have detailed instructions inside the Facebook group to get the app back up and running. It may have to be done once or twice. But I promise you, this is getting figured out.

So let's dive in. I've talked about this topic before, but I feel like I know a lot more of you now, and I can hone in on more specifics of what you're dealing with and your struggles, connecting them to my struggles and to the ways you can handle those struggles moving forward. It's actually inspired by two VIP babes I got to talk to this week who are moving up from the Revolution, from the Blueprint, into the VIP. Speaking with them really hit home and made me realize, God, we're all in this together. I may be a couple of steps ahead of you guys, but if you listen and learn from somebody who's already gone through the trials and tribulations, who knows exactly what you're going through and has figured out a solution, that's going to put you on the right path instead of going down this windy road and figuring it out for yourself. I am here to hold your hand and help you, as long as you can deal with my tough love, and as long as you're willing and open to learn something you may never have done before, even if it's challenging and scary. That's what this is all about.

Today's topic is how to succeed at becoming lean and building that muscle, building that shape, having the composition you want, without self-sabotaging yourself. Like I touched on a couple of minutes ago, starting a new journey can cause a lot of excitement, and it can cause a lot of overwhelming feelings. You feel like you have to complete so much and understand everything about this lifestyle in seven days. How many of you have felt like that, or still feel like that, still learning two months into this program? You feel like you aren't good enough, or you don't understand this, and the results are taking longer, and you're frustrated, right? Guys, this is normal. This is so normal.

You know why? You're basically battling your old self to become the next best version of yourself. All of these old-self feelings, all of this "I've got to get this done yesterday, I need results tomorrow," is your old self getting in the way of your new self. Your new self completely grasps the concept that this takes time, but the old self is not willing to accept that. Your old self steps in and says, no, you can do this in seven weeks. There are six-week programs out there that completely crush your metabolism. I'm not even going to go down that avenue, but you know what I mean. So you are getting in your own way. And I want you to know that one way or another, we all do that. One day is always going to be different from another day.

The reason you may feel this overwhelm and frustration is that a lot of people get tripped up feeling as if they aren't where they're supposed to be. How many of you are 40-plus and you're like, what the heck? I've been working at this for so long. I'm not where I'm supposed to be. Why are things changing right now? And the majority of those people give up in the first two weeks. But guys, listen to me. You are WarriorBabes now. WarriorBabes don't give up. So I want to help you go through some things that are going to squash these feelings of doom, that you're not succeeding, and the self-sabotage that you face, the ways you get in your own way.

One of the babes said something to me, and it hit home. She said, I almost create the self-sabotage, and I know I do it. I don't know why I do it. It's like I feel good creating it. And I said, oh my God, I know what you mean. You know you shouldn't have the popcorn, but you have the popcorn. Or you hit your macros, and then you have more than you should have. I get it. That's you being in your head and not being in the now, not being in the conscious moment of right now.

To go a little off topic, my workout this morning was complete crap. The reason is I was way far into my head. There are a lot of lifestyle changes happening for me right now. I woke up bawling my eyes out. My eyes are so heavy and tired right now because of the changes I'm going through. A lot of things are scaring me. I got to the gym and I thought, I don't feel like doing this. Even when I started doing the exercises, it was just one of those days where I was far into my head and couldn't get out.

The same goes for when you dive into having more than you've allotted with your macros. You're far in your head and you're not here right now. Because I'm in my head, I'm creating all these scenarios, and these things aren't even true. I'm getting lost in the rabbit hole, or I'm connecting myself with past things that aren't real right now. So when you find yourself eating more than you should, you're not here. You're in your head. The way you can pull yourself out is by taking a deep breath, looking around you and saying, okay, none of the things going on inside my head are even real or true. I'm here right now. That's all that matters. Then you may find yourself stopping eating, or getting back into your workout. It's different every day. I couldn't get out of my head today, so my workout was crap.

But to get back on topic, let's dive into the three things that can help you squash these feelings if you're feeling frustrated, or like you're self-sabotaging, or like you're not where you should be. I want you to learn how to live loving every single moment of this journey. I've told you before, we're human. There are going to be days that are rough. There are going to be days where you fail. There are going to be days where you get in your own way. But I want you to learn how to love and live with every single moment of this journey, and know that it's okay to go through those days, because you will learn from them how to handle tomorrow, how to handle the next day, how to handle the next time it happens. Because it's going to happen all the time. It's never going to stop.

The first one is detachment. This is a really good story. I was working with a one-on-one client of mine about two years ago, and she lost 18 pounds within about 12 weeks. It was amazing. It was an amazing accomplishment, but to her, she was still unfulfilled. She felt as if she wasn't where she was supposed to be. She fell into comparison, which robbed her of her own success. She basically saw herself as a failure. She thought she should have been so much further along, instead of actually seeing her true success, until I had a brutally honest conversation with her.

What she was doing was allowing her goals and outside forces, like friends, social media, people around her, people telling her she should be a certain way, to get in her head and control her feelings and her thoughts about herself, instead of learning to control her own feelings and stay true to her own vision of herself. She continuously indulged in comparison thinking, where she measured her value based on what others were doing, which many, many of us do. How many of you say, I don't look the way I want to look, I see so many women who look amazing, and I just look the same? Or others have reached their goals faster than I have?

In our community, there are people who are further along than the ones who are just beginning. But there's no reason to compare yourself to them, comparisonitis is what I like to call it, because you're just starting your journey and they've probably been in it for a couple of months. We all do this, and it can become overwhelming. Then you start going down the rabbit hole of comparisonitis, allowing other people to control your feelings. People say, well, you should look like this, and you think, well, should I? Am I on the right track? Guys, you are on the right track. Don't ever let somebody else get in your head about where you think you should be. As long as you feel good about yourself, as long as you feel good about the results you're getting, as long as you tell yourself on a daily basis that you are a work in progress and the results are coming, don't ever let somebody get in your head about it.

The reason this happens is that we are so obsessed with the outcome of our goals, and we want them to happen so fast. People want them to happen yesterday. It's just the way people are programmed now. It's horrible. It's the microwave society. One of the babes said that before. We want things fast. We want things yesterday.

So the key solution is that we need to detach ourselves from our goals. I don't mean completely. I don't mean to forgo ever imagining what your goals are, or to never be able to see them, or to forget about them. I firmly believe that you always want to create a mental picture of what you want your body to look like. I say not completely because many people view detachment as moving away from something. That's what I used to think it was. So instead of thinking of it as moving away from something, I want you to think of detachment as being extremely close with your goals, but not letting them consume or control you. Mind-blowing. Detachment is being extremely close with your goals, but not letting them consume or control you. Not to the point where your friend says something and you go down the rabbit hole of, what is it, why am I not where I want to be? So that was the first one, detachment.

The second one is ditch the timelines. I'm going to tell you this over and over again. I get that people want their goals in three months, or in six months. But once you ditch the timelines, I guarantee you will get to your goal faster than you thought possible, because you're not focused on an outcome. You're not focused on a date. You're not focused on "I need to do this by this day," because that creates even more overwhelm. So fall in love with this process, you guys. It's okay if you do want to have a date. But most importantly, I want you to fall in love with your journey. Fall in love with this process.

I wish I could go back to day one and soak in every single moment of this, because where I am now and where I was when I first started, I am two completely different people. What I can look back at, as I'm sharing this with you, is that I loved every single minute, even the ups and the downs and the failures and bawling my eyes out. I have loved every second of this journey, because the ups and the downs and the failures and everything you're going to go through is you working on you, working to become the next best version of yourself.

Live in the moment of each day. Stop being in your head. Stop going down rabbit holes that don't even make sense. Be in control of what you can do today that will better you tomorrow. Because if you get lost in the rabbit hole, it's going to create a lot of stress and a lot of overwhelm. You're going to want to dive into Oreos. You're going to want to dive into popcorn. You'll feel out of control. But if you can be in control of what you can do today, that will better you tomorrow, and then all these little nitpicking habits are going to stop. You've got to fall in love with the process and with your journey.

So that was really the second one. I wouldn't really call it ditch the timelines. I would say fall in love with the process and fall in love with your journey. It's okay to have an end date. It's okay to have a goal. But along the way, you can't get overwhelmed by that date. If you get to that date and it's not happening, you've got to be able to look back at who you are, what you've come through and what you've done, and be proud of that.

The last one is trusting the process. I kind of talked about that one already, but that was more about detachment. You've got to turn negative behavior into positive behavior. It's hard to trust the process when so many people have tried so many different things in their past. Then they look at WarriorBabe as, oh, it's just another thing. That is what I'm trying to steer so far away from. That's why I say trust the process, and believe me now, trust me later. You just have to believe every single day that you can do this.

Trusting the process is like going back to when we were kids. We didn't master walking in one day, did we? Change also doesn't happen overnight. However, it does happen over time. So we need to trust the process of change. Change can be scary as hell. But it's how you want to view it. Is it scary, or is it exciting?

If it's hard for you to trust the process, the main reason is that you're going down a negative loop instead of a positive loop. It's still early in the day, but maybe you've already had a self-sabotaging thought today. Is it a lack of self-confidence, self-esteem, self-doubt? Think about that. Now figure out what triggered it. Did you get on the scale? Did you scroll through social media and see other people who are far further along in their journey than you are? If you've had a thought like this already, what triggered it? Now, can you avoid those triggers throughout the day?

For example, if you experience self-doubt because the number went up on the scale, can you avoid the trigger by throwing away the scale? Guys, the scale can be a great tool, a very great tool. But if you're somebody who has a poor relationship with it, why would you get on the scale on a daily basis? It's like people love inflicting this pain. One of the babes said this the other day: they know they're about to self-sabotage themselves, and they do it anyway. Why would you do that to yourself? If you know you don't have a great relationship with it, throw it away. Or listen to the fat loss versus weight loss rally call. I did it two times because it was so damn good.

Your weight, guys, is going to fluctuate. It's going to fluctuate by five pounds. It's going to fluctuate by three pounds. You're going to gain 15 pounds if you want to put muscle on. I did. So if you have a poor relationship with it, just throw it away. Once you've worked on yourself, you can introduce the scale back in, because it is a great tool. You just have to look at it in a positive light and understand what's going on, with more knowledge, which you'll get from the fat loss versus weight loss rally call. It will be mind-opening for you if you have a poor relationship with seeing numbers.

And if you have a poor relationship with it, instead of putting yourself in the position of self-sabotaging and knowing it's going to happen whether the number goes up or down, which is the negative side of things, find a more positive behavior for measuring your progress. I can't preach this enough. I say over and over to take pictures. I say to measure yourself. And a lot of people just ignore that. They don't want to see themselves in their pictures. You guys, I can guarantee that you are going to see change. Even if you're 90% or 85% consistent, you're going to see change over a period of time. It's absolutely inevitable. If you're doing a WarriorBabe workout and eating consistently, your body is going to change, especially with putting on muscle. It's going to start changing shape. The scale may not tell you that. The scale leaves out a lot of important factors. But pictures are not going to lie.

What you can do is practice this new behavior until it becomes a new positive habit. So instead of the negative aspect of the scale, you take on the new behavior of taking measurements and progress photos, and that new positive habit is going to start forming for you. So the last one was trust the process. If you find yourself bringing negative or past experiences into your new journey, and it's hard for you to trust the process, figure out those triggers, figure out the negative behavior, and turn it into a more positive behavior for yourself.

So: detachment, falling in love with your process and your journey, and trusting it. Trusting it is probably one of the hardest things for people to do in general. But most importantly, it's not the outside factors. It's not having the victim mentality about what's around you. Trust comes from you. It starts within you. When you can trust yourself, then you can trust your process and your journey.

This is really just coming to my head right now, and it's going to be really good. When it really comes down to it, the reason you can't trust the process is probably not the scale, and probably not the progress photos. It's because you can't trust you, because you keep failing, and instead of learning from your failure, you go down the negative loop of failure, failure, failure. Think about it. It's like you're cheating on yourself. It's like a relationship, and this relationship is with you. Would you trust yourself after you cheat on yourself? No. That's probably why you can't trust this process: because you can't trust yourself. So you need to dig deep. You need to be aware of what trips you up, and change it, or you're just going to keep going in this loop. You might keep going for three years until something clicks. I'm trying to make it click right now so you don't go in those loops. You've got to change it into a positive behavior.

All right, guys. I hope this rally call has helped you. I feel like it hit home for me, and I know a lot of you are probably going through the same thing, not seeing results, wondering where you are. But what does it really come down to? It comes down to you. So you need to be in check with yourself. Let me know what you thought about this rally call in the Facebook group. I'd love to see the comments and see if you enjoyed it.

I wanted to make that announcement: this rally call is moving to Sunday. Next Saturday's rally call is moving to Sunday at 6 p.m., effective November 3rd, and it will be like that for three to four weeks. Again, let me know what you thought inside the Facebook group, give me some feedback, and go trust yourself and trust this process. I love you all. Have a great rest of your day. Bye, everyone. Thank you.