Nikkiey Stott's Fitness Journey: From Skinny Fat to Strong

Nikkiey: What's up, WarriorBabes? Hey, everyone. Nikkiey here, and welcome to our Sunday WarriorBabe Revolution rally call. Guys, I'm super, super excited to be here and on this call with you today. I missed you all, and I hope you all had an amazing holiday. You enjoyed time with your family. You enjoyed time with your friends. You did the Macro-Free Memories, which I shared with you last time. And I hope you're in a good headspace and getting back on track.

I'm really excited to be on this call with you tonight. I just got done with the Blueprint Q&A, and I'll forewarn you right now, I'm a flustered mess. I can't formulate my words right. I'm stuttering. Nothing seems to be coming out of my mouth the right way. So I hope to God that what I want to share with you tonight comes out and comes across to you the way that I feel on the inside.

I'm also very hormonal because I'm getting my period next week, okay? So I'm hella frustrated, and these little tiny things, like not being able to formulate sentences, are frustrating me. So I'm just getting by right now. But I just wanted to forewarn you with all that.

Anyway, I'm super excited to be on this call. This call means a lot to me, as it's going to be a very personal call with you guys. And I hope I don't get emotional, because Aunt Flo is coming next week, and like I just said, I'm very hormonal. So who knows, I may shed a tear. But this is going to be a very personal call. I'm sharing with you my own personal story of how I got started with my own fitness journey. The reason I'm sharing it with you today is because this is my five-year anniversary, which I can't believe. I started this time five years ago. I was the New Year's resolutioner girl, and I'm going to share with you the lead-up to today five years ago, and from New Year's forward until basically today.

Let the babes know in the Facebook group that we're going to get this call started shortly. I'm not going to go through all the things I usually talk about at the beginning, because I'm in the groove. I'm in the mode right now to just flow with what's coming from my heart and my mind to share this story with you. So go in the Facebook group and let the babes know this call is getting started within the next two minutes. They're going to want to join, because I guarantee you this is going to resonate with so many of you.

No matter where you are in your journey, if you're just starting out, if you're two months in, if you've been doing this for 10 years and you're just getting back in the groove of things, one way or another I'm going to make this resonate with you, because I've been in your shoes, going through things that you're going through. We're always growing and always learning, right? The beginning of my own journey was a real struggle, and I'm going to dive into it, because I know you can relate to that.

And then when I finally decided to dive all in five years ago at this time, at New Year's, once I made the decision, it all started happening so quickly. So I want you to take this from the call: no matter where you are in your journey, you are on the right track to achieving your goals. And the way to amplify it and make it happen faster is to listen to what happened once I finally decided on January 1st of 2015 that this was it, that this is what I wanted for myself. I can already feel myself getting emotional. Aunt Flo. Okay, are you guys ready? I'm excited to share this with you.

Like I said, I started my journey basically January 1st of 2015. But let's rewind about seven months before that. At that time I was in nursing school, I was engaged, I was taking care of my sick grandmother, and I also had a part-time job in an emergency room as a tech, which is basically like a nurse's assistant. You do everything for the nurses that they can't do, so they can focus on giving the patients medication. That means running around from patient to patient, wiping butts, sticking IVs in. This was all the start of this journey. This is what I was doing about seven months before I actually started.

Now, on the fitness side of things, oh boy. For seven months, I tried and tried and tried to get to the gym and to eat healthy. I tried multiple different programs, from not eating to, what is that? I didn't do keto, but I was just trying to eat healthy. I would make chicken at night, but that would be the only thing I was eating. Throughout my entire day, I would just snack on healthy things like string cheese and yogurt, and it was never enough food.

And I was never consistent. I was all up and down. Some days I would go to Wawa, which is a convenience store up here in Pennsylvania on the East Coast, and get milkshakes and candy, and I would literally have that for breakfast, lunch and dinner. So it was up and down, up and down.

At the same time, I was in a relationship. I was engaged for a year, and that person was so controlling. If I went to the gym, I would come back and he'd be like, oh, was anybody hitting on you? It was so bad, so not healthy. So I would have to go to the gym with that person. My ex would come to the gym with me, and he would do his thing and I would do my thing. But at that time I had absolutely no idea what I was doing in the gym. I would literally just go in there, do some cardio and run on the treadmill. Or if I was working out with him, I would do whatever he was showing me how to do, but I had no idea what I was doing. I would pin a bunch of different workouts on my iPhone, but I was never, ever consistent.

For seven months, I was not eating right, not eating enough, eating junk food, not eating some days. And my ex-fiancé owned a pizza shop. It was literally the downfall of Nikkiey in those seven months. I thought I was trying hard, but honestly, when I look back at it, I was not trying hard. I was just giving in to my environment, giving in to the fact that you're in a pizza shop, giving in to the food that was provided. Every single Friday, Saturday and Sunday, that's all I would eat: strombolis, pizza, fries. It was terrible. And then throughout the week, if it was ever busy, we would just order from there.

And I was controlled by that environment. I wanted to do what I wanted to do by going to the gym, but somebody was holding me back, right? He was holding me back from wanting to go to the gym, from wanting to better myself. And guys, just stepping out of the story really quick, I'm now looking at this from a 30,000-foot view and realizing everything I went through and what I had to eliminate in order to be where I am today.

So diving back into those seven months: like I said, totally not consistent, eating whatever, not eating, and eating whatever I wanted. But deep down, I was so insecure. When I was having sex with my ex-fiancé, the lights were always turned off. I never felt secure in my own skin around him. And going out to festivals and parties, because he was Lebanese, I was so insecure around the other women. Lebanese women are beautiful women, and I would be comparing myself to them constantly, looking at their bodies and thinking, wow, Nikkiey, you suck at life. Your body is disgusting.

Honestly, I was not in a healthy state of mind, and I was obviously not in a healthy body either. I wasn't overweight, but I was skinny fat. I've shared that with you before, and you've watched my videos before. I was skinny fat, and I was just not eating the right foods for my body. And I was also dealing with being so insecure, which so many of you are probably surprised by. Looking at the Nikkiey you know now, you would never think that I wasn't confident or that I was insecure. But let me tell you, I was. Shy and insecure.

It wasn't until around this time, actually, five years ago, that I got so mad at myself. But I projected it onto everybody else, because I had that victim mindset. I was blaming everybody else. I was blaming the pizza shop. I was blaming my ex-fiancé. I was blaming Lord knows whoever crossed my path that day. It was their fault that I wasn't happy. I was blaming everyone around me.

And the environment I was in was just not conducive to the goals I deep down wanted to accomplish. But at that point I had no idea what I was supposed to do. I just sat in pain almost every single day. It wasn't until this time, Christmas time five years ago, that I said, you know what? I'm so tired of feeling this pain. I'm so tired of not being happy. I'm so tired of crying all the time. I'm so tired of feeling insecure. I'm so tired of looking at other people and comparing myself to other women. I'm so tired of not feeling confident in my own skin. I'm so tired of somebody controlling my every move.

Because deep down in my roots, I know from my younger years that I am a strong person. I went through a lot growing up with my parents. I went through a lot with school. I did sports, and I was captain of all my sports. I am a very strong individual. And when that gets quieted, that's where aggression kind of comes into play, right? That's what was happening to me at the end of 2014 going into 2015. That's when my engagement ended. We knew things weren't working out. It was literally right before Christmas.

I don't think I got up from my bed for about four days, and I didn't eat. I was just so upset at what was happening, but also reflecting on the past three years I'd spent with this person, and the year of the engagement, when I quieted my inner self. I quieted my inner strength. I quieted what I wanted for myself. Growing up, people would tell me I was basically a 45-year-old in a 15-year-old's body. I had the mentality of a 45-year-old in a 15-year-old's body. I had to mature at a very young age because of my upbringing. And in my reflection period, I felt like everything I knew I wanted had been quieted. It was dulled.

Then, guys, as soon as my engagement ended, during those four days I wouldn't move from bed, my grandfather came in. Mind you, I'm taking care of my grandmother, I'm working, and I'm going to nursing school at this point. My grandfather came to the door of my room, because I was living with them to take care of my grandmother, and he said, Nikkiey, are you going to get up today? Are you going to do something? This is going to pass. I don't remember verbatim what he said, but it was just a jolt, like, holy shit, what am I doing right now?

From that point, I started to resurface who I really am on the inside. I started to resurface what I wanted for myself, what I wanted to do, what I wanted my body to look like, what I wanted to accomplish. I started to not feel bad for myself anymore, but to actually do something about it. Because I was so tired of living in the pain I'd experienced for those seven months: going up and down, being inconsistent, knowing that I wanted to do it but not doing it because of my outside environment, because I was blaming everybody else. I was so sick and tired of dealing with that that once my grandfather really kicked me into gear, January 1st of 2015, I was like, that's it. I'm going back to the gym. I'm going to work out. I'm going to show up for myself. I'm going to get my shit together. I'm going to learn.

But let me tell you, I had no idea what I was doing. No idea. I remember this verbatim. I was so used to going to the gym with my ex-fiancé and having somebody work out with me that I wasn't as intimidated before. But the moment I walked into the gym on New Year's Day or the day after, I was so intimidated by the weights, and by the thought processes I'd had with my ex, like people were all looking at me, all these bad thoughts, that I walked straight up to the cardio equipment and did cardio.

Like I said, I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. But what I started to do on a daily basis was at least do something where I was learning, where I was reading, where I was trying to figure out what I should be doing, instead of making up excuses as to why I can't do this and why I shouldn't do this. Every day I was reading. I remember Googling, verbatim, what is protein and where can I get protein? And I started cooking. I was cooking more for my grandma at this time, so I was cooking for myself too, making things like chicken-stuffed entrees. I was making healthier choices, but I still wasn't eating enough.

I dove into multiple programs after that too, for the first three months of 2015. I still had old habits, but I was doing a hell of a lot better than I was in 2014. I was still snacking, and I still wasn't eating enough. I was working out more, but I was running a ton. I would run four days a week, three or four miles.

In this time frame, when I was putting in effort but still not knowing what I was doing, I was still showing up for myself. I was still putting it out there: hey, I'm committed. I'm going to do whatever it takes. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do right now, but I'm learning and I'm implementing something daily. I didn't let excuses get in the way after January 1st. After putting the focus back on me, opening up my inner strength, and really knowing what I wanted to accomplish, I didn't let work get in the way. I didn't let taking care of my grandmother get in the way.

And guys, you can really relate that to your kids. My grandmother was like a child. She could not do anything for herself, and I had to make sure I was around, because my grandfather was 80 years old and he didn't even know how to cook an egg. No joke. And she had IBS, so there would be days when she'd be pooping her pants every 30 minutes. So I can compare that to having a kid. And I was also working full time and going to nursing school. But anyway, that's beside the point.

At that point, I didn't allow any excuses. I let go of my victim mentality of blaming everybody else, the environment around me, my friends not getting it. I stopped blaming all of that, and I started showing up for myself. I started listening to myself. If I wanted to do it, I'd go and do it. If I wanted to accomplish something, I'd go and accomplish it. I signed up for two half marathons in the first half of 2015, and I crushed both of them. My first half marathon, I finished in two hours. My second, I beat that time by 10 minutes and did an hour and 50 minutes.

Once I stopped making excuses and started at least doing something daily, no matter what it was, whether it was eating better or going grocery shopping, which I did for the first time, I started showing up for myself. And the more I showed up for myself, the more I fell in love with the process. I loved what going into the gym did for me. I eventually got over my intimidation of the weight room and just started showing up in the weight room. I literally asked the trainers, hey, can you tell me what this machine does?

Coming from somebody who was super insecure seven months earlier, going up to a trainer and asking them to show me, and I know that's their job, but just walking up to somebody made my heart start racing. I don't know why that happens. I guess it just does. Anyway, I made them show me how to do things, and then I started watching people and seeing how they were doing it, and I just started falling in love with it.

Then about three months in, it was my 25th birthday, March 22nd, and that's when I said, okay, I'm ready to really dial it up a notch. I want to know exactly what I'm doing. I want to dive in deeper and learn what I should be doing to reach my goals, because right now I'm just winging it. I'm doing what I'm reading online, which is very overwhelming and tells you a million different things. I was seeing results with my body from January to March, but it wasn't what I wanted, because I was doing way, way too much cardio. Yes, I got smaller, but I wanted muscle. That was my ultimate goal. I wanted to be toned. I wanted to be strong. I wanted to be very muscular.

So in March, I basically said it all out loud. I started telling everybody: I want muscle. I want to be strong. I want to build. And I started seeing the bodybuilding stuff. I'm not really going to dive into that, because not everybody here is a bodybuilder, and it's not something you have to go and do. But I wanted that image, right? I wanted the toned look, the strong look, the sexy body, because I felt like if I had that, I'd be way more calm and have way more inner strength.

And literally, guys, about a week after I put it out there that I wanted to accomplish this and learn more about it, I ran into somebody at the gym who asked, hey, are you doing a competition? I said, no, funny that you say that, though. Do you know anybody who does that? And that's how my whole journey started. By showing up for myself daily, by not letting excuses get in the way, by not letting the environment control me, by going with what I wanted to achieve for myself, everything started lining up for what I wanted to accomplish.

And let me tell you, I am still learning. I will always be learning to perfect this whole process, to make it easier, to make it better. But understand that you've got to go through some shit first before you get that aha moment. This isn't really about anybody else. This isn't about my grandmother. This isn't about my fiancé. This isn't about anybody. This is about me.

Because the moment you start showing up for yourself, more things are going to come into your space that help you get to the goals you want to accomplish. And the more you work on yourself, the more everything around you is going to be supportive of who you want to be, right? Your kids are going to see you be a role model. They're going to start being supportive, because you're getting results. You're happier. You're stronger. They're going to want to follow in your footsteps. Once you start working on you as a human being, everything around you gets better and stronger. But you have to put in the work for yourself first. You have to go through the shit. You have to realize what does not work for you, what does not serve you, and you have to start making changes in order to get where you want to be.

The moment I met my coach, I stopped everything cold turkey and listened to exactly what he told me to do. When he looked at what I was eating before I started with him, he said, wow, so you really like sugar, don't you? What's the saying? I would have coffee with my sugar. And now I drink it black. By going cold turkey with him, I made so many lifestyle changes in a matter of one week, and that allowed me to accelerate my results.

You have to let go right now of what is not serving you: sugar, bad food, falling off track, not being consistent, the environment around you not being supportive. And you need to do what does serve you. You need to put into action the things you want to accomplish for yourself. You need to put into action being consistent.

And you know what, guys? It's not going to be comfortable. Where I was for those seven months, I didn't know it, but I wasn't content. And when I started to move and make changes for myself, it was hella uncomfortable, because I had to do it by myself, right? I was so used to my ex-fiancé being around, going to the gym with him, and giving in to the temptation of the pizza shop. Once I had to say no to foods or say no to friends, that's just not comfortable. But you can't stay in a comfort zone when you want to grow, right? And that applies to building the body you want to have. You have to do a lot of things you don't want to do. Once you get rid of the things that don't work for you, and you start doing the things that are scary and that you just don't want to do, that's when things start lining up for the goals you want to accomplish.

So that's my story from start to finish, and I hope it resonated with you a little bit. But know that you're seeing me now, five years after the fact. You're seeing five years of putting in the work, to the point where it's now a subconscious habit that I do for myself. I don't even think about going to the gym. It's like, okay, I have to go to the gym tomorrow, and I go and do it. I do think about my macros and putting my meals together, but it's like I have to do it, or I feel so off track. Because if I don't do it, I'm not being true to myself. I'm not being true to the goals I have for myself.

And you know that feeling. You know it. When you aren't consistent and you get mad at yourself and frustrated, that's your intuition saying, hey, you said you wanted to do this, but you're not doing it. Your actions aren't lining up, and that's why you're frustrated. But if you actually got consistent and showed up for yourself, you'd feel better. You'd get more confident, because you're accomplishing the things you used to write off with an excuse. That's how you get more secure, confident, happy and strong. You, as a whole human, have to start letting go of the stuff that's been in your way and show up for yourself daily.

I want you to take this and let it resonate with you. Take it into 2020. This is your year. Get rid of the things that do not serve you right now, or have conversations with the people who aren't being 100% supportive. And guys, that conversation isn't going to be comfortable either. But standing up for yourself is the most important part. If it's a friend who digs at your goals weekly, either create space with them or have a conversation. If it's your husband who isn't 100% supportive, have a conversation with him. At the end of the day, I bet you it's going to make things so much better. It's going to make you two so much stronger, and it's going to make you feel better, because now it's out there that you want to accomplish the goals you want to accomplish for yourself.

Do what I'm telling you to do. Get rid of what isn't helping you, and going into 2020, start doing the things that are going to help you move forward. Start showing up for yourself. Start being the person you know deep down that you are, but who's been quieted. Get that inner confidence, that inner self, loud, and start showing up for yourself, babes. All right?

I love you all, and I hope you have an amazing New Year, and that you reflect on your own personal self: who you are right now, who you want to be, what you want to accomplish, the things you need to get rid of and the things you need to move forward with. All right, babes? There will be no call on Wednesday for New Year's, but we'll be back here on Sunday for our next rally call. Check the Facebook group, and I'll see you there. All right. Bye, everyone.